As women, we are programmed to dread turning forty. I believe it has something to do with our biological clock ticking away inside of us, which might also explain why men are still playful at this age and unaffected by time until they hit 60! I know a few women who decided to have a baby at forty. We will do anything to keep us feeling young, but having a baby does not exactly guarantee this. In fact, it may have the opposite effect. Still, it’s a turning point, and life after forty for women is a time for new beginnings.
Think about it. We spent our twenties exploring new possibilities with fascination and endless energy. Our thirties were filled with uncertainty in just about every area of life. We made choices that we now live with. Whether they were good or bad, doesn’t matter as long as we can accept that we made those decisions and own up to them. At least we can say we’ve been there, done that! So now, we know what works and what doesn’t and have a much clearer understanding of our likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, we can’t just hit the rewind button and get a do-over, but we can make changes and in a way, it’s like starting over.
Like I mentioned earlier, we now know more of what we like and don’t like. The key is to focus on what we like, what accomplishes we made, what went right and continue to explore those ideas! Appreciate the good times and focus on creating more of those, while leaving all your regrets behind you. They are in the past, and have no purpose here and now. Truth is, what we think about, we bring about. So keep your thoughts positive and be clear about what you want while taking steps every day towards achieving your goal or goals.
If you should find yourself thinking about what you dislike, that’s fine too. Use these thoughts to discover what needs to change. Whatever makes you feel sad or unhappy needs to go! Life is too short to live with regrets. Life after forty can be empowering as long as you hold onto the belief that you can renew yourself and re-create the life you always wanted. It’s not too late. It’s never too late. We no longer have to live with our mistakes, because we can change them. We can change our minds and adopt a healthy attitude that serves us as easily as we can change our clothes or hair style.
Finding Your Style
Change is going to happen, that you can be sure of. Nothing stays the same, and that’s actually a good thing. How boring would life be without changes? The key is to make those changes yourself, as much as possible. Otherwise, change will just happen to you, and you might not like it all!
I’ve always enjoyed make overs. Whether it be myself, or other people. I like to see how different styles can have a dramatic effect in one’s appearance and attitude. Especially when they find the right style that aligns with their personality. It really can make all the difference, but for a woman, it is an essential part of life after forty. Your body has changed, your hair structure, your skin, even your teeth have changed. Now it’s time to roll with the changes!
I like to start from the top and work my way down. So I begin with the hair, especially since I no longer have time to fuss with it. Getting the right cut that shapes your face, while getting rid of those dead ends is the greatest gift a girl can give herself. However, it is crucial that you don’t rush the process and risk having bad hair days until it grows out and you can start all over again. Take your time with this and get it right. You will be so happy to wake up knowing you can be ready in minutes, without all the fuss! Here are some keys to finding the perfect cut:
- Know the shape of your face. You might be round, oval, or heart shaped.
- Find celebrities that have the same shape, and features as you have. Don’t kid yourself though. Be truthful or maybe ask a friend or family member for a reality check.
- Look through magazines or the internet and find styles your chosen celebrity has already tried, and choose the one you like best. Celebrities change thier hair styles often, so you should have a nice selection.
- Use a stylist that you can trust. Your hair stylist should be considered your friend. If you don’t already have one that you are comfortable with, seek one out. Ask for referrals from friends or co-workers that have great hair. Who do they use?
- Bring a picture. It’s hard to describe what you want done, and can easily be misinterpreted. It has happened to me a lot! Having a picture of the style you want says it all and eliminates all the confusion.
- Be nice! Ask for his or her professional opinion and let them feel they are trusted and most importantly, appreciated. We all do our best work when we feel appreciated.
Stay True to Yourself
It is true that beauty comes from within. Thanks to my Grandma, I have always known this to be true since I was a young teen. She would tell me it doesn’t matter how much make-up you apply. “If you’re ugly on the inside, that is all people will see.” Somehow, she knew I stole the make-up, and the lesson was clear that stealing would make me ugly, so I stopped! I am proud to say, there is nothing I want badly enough that I would steal to get it. Nothing!
On the upside, you can be beautiful without even wearing make-up, if you choose. Being pure in your thoughts and in your heart, shines a light through you that people can’t help but notice and will automatically be drawn to you in a respectful manner. A simple act of kindness, or even a smile can go a long way. The more you can achieve this, the better you will feel and look! We all look better with a smile. It is the number one anti-aging ingredient for both men and women.
Fitness is Key
That being said, the best way to combat negative forces and keep our focus on healthy, positive, actions is to exercise. This doesn’t need to be a chore, though most of us do feel this way. Just thirty minutes a day, or at least three times a week, can change your outlook, as well as your appearance for the better. I promise! It is impossible to feel depressed after a work-out. There are so many ways you can get the excercise you need, and in time, you will find it enjoyable. Especially when you begin seeing results. It’s all about finding the right program for you. Doing something you enjoy, makes it more likely for you to follow through and stick with it. Here are a few ideas:
- Dancing. Take classes with your partner or alone in your living room. Who cares! If you enjoy dancing, then dance thirty minutes a day.
- Yoga. This is my number one pick. I love it, though it was tough in the beginning. I was sore, but it still felt great because I knew it was working. Now I am so grateful I didn’t give up. I am much more flexible, and my aches and pains are less. I can bend more easily and feel less stressed about everything. Yoga can be done from home, in the morning, in the evening, at the gym, or even a yoga studio. Love it!
- Pilates. A core workout using a fast paced series of movements. I tried this once or twice and just wasn’t for me. However, I may try again someday. I do like the concept. Benefits are stronger, more sculpted muscles and gain flexibility.
- Aerobics. A cardiovascular workout with lots of movement. Usually set to music, with the goal of improving all elements of fitness.
- Sports. Swimming is another favorite of mine. So refreshing, and you’re actually using all your muscles while swimming. Volleyball, tennis, softball, basketball, the list goes on. Any sport you like is also a great work-out while having fun.
- Remember to always check with your doctor before starting any new exercise program.
I only mentioned a few, but there are plenty more. Think about what you like and be realistic of what you can do. Research. Make it your mission to find an excercise program that you will enjoy. Like most chores, the hardest part is getting started. I used to trick myself in order to get started. I would tell myself, “Just do ten minutes.” Once started, I would easily go the full 30 minutes. So, be like Nike, and “Just Do It!”
Pampering is a Must
You owe it to yourself to take at least one day out of the week for pampering. No matter how hectic work has been, or whatever has you feeling stressed out, can all subside for a few hours one day a week, as you spend some time taking good care of you! Whether it’s a massage, a facial, doing your nails, getting your face waxed, or all of the above. It is essential to have at least one day of beauty to guarantee one beautiful day a week! You’ve earned it.
What it All Comes Down To
I hope these words of advice has opened you up to a new beginning for your life after forty and you will come back often. I would like to be of help in any way I can. Looking back, I can now see how young 40 really is. I am currently 55, so I do know a thing or two on this subject and I wouldn’t lie to you. Besides being the new twenty, by taking good care, and appreciating all you have been through, you will continue to be young for many more years to come. With or without children.
It’s all up to you. Life after forty is a new beginning. We have the power to change what we don’t like and appreciate more of what we do like. We can change our thoughts as easily as we can change our hair style, clothes and fitness routine. Life is all about the choices we make, and life after forty is about making better decisions and taking action to create the life we want to live! We’ve been through the trial and error ages, so hopefully, now it will all start to make sense. I still believe there is a reason for everything. Maybe you’re the reason I’m writing this now?
We are older, but with age comes wisdom. I just want to share some of mine with you. If you have any questions, or have something you would like to share, please feel free to do so. You can leave a comment in the box below.
I remember hitting the panic button at forty, and now I find it funny. There really is nothing to panic about! The menfolk got this one right, and we should follow their example, and just play like we did yesterday!